Posted in Gotta tell you!

A choppy ride

One of the Deepika Padukone’s Junior cooks, Joy Lobo, commits suicide. He failed to become a true cuckoo as advised by Virus – “ Life is a race. If you don’t run fast, you will be like broken undaa!”.

Deepika has placed a want-ad in the leading newspaper — India Fighting. Right when Deepika is whistling an old tune “ Ehsaan tera hoga mujh par, dil chahta hai wo kehne do…..” two (wo)men candidates from the Swaraaj Chhit-Put Larni Sena enter the room, heavily panting and shrieking out “Oye Deepika! Deepika kahan hai? (Oye Deepika! Where’s Deepika?)”

“Deepikaaaa! Oye Chatur, Deepika Kahan hai?”

One of them is barefoot and seems to have forgotten wearing pants. But anyways, he’s still in old-fashioned boxer shorts.

“Welcome Idiots!” Deepika greets them while still staring at his iPhone. “Madira piyogey? (Would you like to have Madira?) ”

Puzzled, they look at each other then ask him “Arre Deepika kahan hai, Ya?”

“Bataati hun pehley ye dekho. (You’ll know but before that look at this)” Deepika flips over his iPhone.

They look at the selfie in the iPhone.

“ Meri wife ko nahi uske peeche ka Bangla deko, idiots! (Stop staring at my wife. Look at the bungalow behind, idiots!) 3.5 million. Swimming pool- heated. “ Deepika sneers. “Living room- maple wood flooring. My new lamborghini 6496cc. Soooo Fast!” He smacks the iPhone.

“ Abbey, ye sab humey kyun bata raha hai( Why are you telling this to us)!!! We have come here for chopping and cooking!”

“Chal chhod na, Ya. Sala zindgi bhar Hindi seekhta rahega. Koi thikaana nahi kab kya bol de! ( He will keep learning Hindi all his life. You can’t even guess what he is going to say next!)”

“ Kya-kya pakatey ho tumlog? (What do you cook?)”

Both the candidates turn to the female voice coming from behind. An elderly woman of 50-60yrs enters the room.

“……and do you always dress-up like this?” she sounds a bit muddled.

“ No Ma’m. Dono tang phadwa kar apne pairon par khada hua hai. Ye ab pants nahi pehnega. ( No Ma’m. He’s learned to stand up by himself after having both of his legs (of his pants) ripped apart. He won’t wear pants any longer.)”


“We cook everything- Dhokla….”

“Tum Gujarati log itne cute hote ho par tum logon ka khana itna khatarnak kyun hota hai? Dhokla! Fafda! Handva! Thepla! Aisa lagta hai jaise koi missiles hai! ( You Gujarati people are so cute but why are your dishes so dangerous?? Dhokla! Fafda! Handva! Thepla! As if these are missiles! ) ” She interrupts. “ Have you read ‘wings of fire’?”

“ Ye cute nahi hain. Peechle batees saal se inhone nirantar is college mein balatkaar pe balatkaar kiye. ( They are not cute! During past 32 years they have commited rapes one after another. )” Deepika chips in.

“ Chatur, we are going to chop your nose off before we chop anything else ( Deepika’s nose???)!” Candidates have begun to boil with rage and threaten Deepika.

“ I am Deepika. Naam toh suna hoga?” Deepika winks at them with mischief.

(Male Deepika!!!)

Now the candidates are completely at a loss. “Abey tu iske daant todega ya main todun?” ( Are you going to break his teeth or I should do it? )


Posted in Gotta tell you!

My definition of a respectful relationship

Respect is not what I need for myself from anyone. That I have plentiful. Even my enemies respect me. It’s the respectful relation which I crave and only find acceptable. Of course, I learned it a hard way. But hey, it doesn’t hurt anymore. It doesn’t even mean that I am going to put mammoth efforts towards it and become a doormat and fall so low that others begin to decide my poop and fart ( I follow the famous Shayar – Chirkin!) I am just going to be who I am and I am so very proud of myself for the person who I am, who I have been and I am bettering myself to become even more me. I have learned despite my blunders.

My definition of “respect” and “relationship” is quite simple and, I am sure, known to all. Respect is not just sugar quoted words, formality and etiquettes. Respect is when you know faults of your son and you cannot brand them with any attribute. You don’t go outside to empty your garbage bin over them. Respect is when you see the friends of your son and you put efforts to keep them coming to you and not brand them this or that just because they are better than your…brothers? When there is a respect, you cannot think about them in another way (It’s the job of a few jealous neighbors) despite knowing all their faults. Respect is not a compulsion to ‘like’ someone’s post on Facebook. I can never go to demand a youngster on Facebook to like my post. It would be too ugly to me.

Respect and relation both are metaphors for love and acceptance. And fortunately, I learned it from the most beautiful relationships I have seen among a few people who called themselves brothers, sisters and friends whatever… They visited each other places and established a permanent family-like bond. They quarreled, found faults in each other, had crazy humor without branding them with such awfully beautiful attributes. They apologized, put extra efforts to mend it and never went to explain it to the world. And there’s another world where people mud-sling on relationship​ only to keep it in their hands. A relationship​ is definitely not a dream of a rich and handsome man for whom you put your dancing pic on social site. Well, I have nothing against posting​ my dancing pics (which I haven’t even posted yet! ) but it has to be my own decision. Thank you very much!

A relationship​ is not a tag that you carry with yourself. Oftentimes there exists a tag without a relationship. A relation is not what your competitors in your class talk about you. Relationships are never based on fears. They are pretty brave and founded on love and care. When a youngster hurts the feelings of an elder person you care to mend it and vice-versa. A respected person who stakes his reputation for a younger one or has the heart to appear fool for another doesn’t make him any less respected from the one who is busy maintaining an image, never apologizes and struts away, the one who continues to do it. It takes a little pain to be human. Pains of several different kinds. But it is even more painful to die without having those pains. Without learning from them (Sounds like my new status update!).

When I created the account on WordPress I told a few people about creative writing courses and immediately I found so many people following me. These were writers from whom one can learn – how to take up any incident and weave them through stories, articles etc, several different kinds of written material — A LOT! It wasn’t possible for just one or two people to type them. How can I say that goodness has vanished from the world? A respectable relationship​ doesn’t demand all your time, weeks or months neither it has any perfectness. I think perfectness is an illusion. Everything is not possible for everyone/doesn’t resonate with each person but you can put at least a little effort towards it, make a gesture of support and respect instead of making it muddier. A respectable relationship​ is like a family. You comfortably share shyaris of Chirkin.

When a relation, ANY relation, is respectable, it’s brave. You can stand up for it because it is about you. Else anyone can talk about integrity. And why it becomes so important to have each relationship​ full of respect ( regardless of its nature) is that if you keep compromising your truth/who you are for any relationship, at one point, it is devoid of any feelings, it doesn’t exist. Care begins with respect and not with formalities. I am truly grateful for having relationships to people with whom I can evolve as a better person, express myself better and oppose them without hesitation, and I am going to stick their photos on my WhatsApp profile or WordPress blog and elaborate each and every detail about them for the approval of some high-profile​ thingamajig out of the fear that these people will do something they are good at? And what-if I hide it?


P.S: The post was written sometime back when I was suffering from an emotional trauma and I was having difficulty in expressing myself on social media. Now I have no such grudges against anyone and hardly care about it. I am more at peace and express myself easily without any hesitation.

Posted in Gotta tell you!


“When I was young I farted with my brother and after 25 years now we poop together. “

Hilarious! Recently I collected love and spiritual poems, stories articles etc. and liked many of the pages on Facebook to get an idea about the kinds of stuff  blog sites are churning out. Total crap!…to me at least. It failed to interest me or be of any use to me. A page on mindfulness is completely mindless and an another page writes –

“You’ve been through guys and girls that continued to shatter your heart, like it was just a tiny piece of glass…”

Humanity suffers! No. Not that but…I couldn’t figure out to whom they are serving by creating the kind of literature. Anyway, creating what you like, speaking and writing your own mind is important which shows the kind of people and society we are. It makes society transparent, things we are involved in and directions towards we are taking the society by contributing to it. And my ideas are not rigid towards it. Having all the people of the same mind hardly makes any sense to me. That’s why I support almost everything put on social media which imparts me more freedom, strengthens my will to write anything and everything I wish. A lot of money is involved in this business and writers have the right knack for picking up the mass mind and manipulating it. It just failed to inspire or interest me and makes it more difficult to choose from reading stuffs crammed onto the social media.

The provocative posts are even funnier. From rural India to the USA, it is common to provoke someone, decide a relation and its direction and then make certain things happen. But even among illiterate people in small villages, this is not the virtue of all neither everyone cares about it. It gives me an idea that places or education don’t serve to decide one’s character/ make much difference to how a person uses his mind.

And despite being active on social media what keeps me sane? I cook every day apart from doing other house chores. It has its benefits. A balance is always needed. Perhaps, I am not a lover of words or maybe of some kind of written stuff. I won’t stick any label to it. I just have my own likings. In this crowd of Krishnas, Radhas, Modis, and Rahuls may be I am looking for something different from poop and fart or beef and goat and that would be authentic me for sure. Let us see. Who knows, someday I write similar stuff. You never know!


Posted in Gotta tell you!


वर्डप्रेस के घाट पर हुई मतों की भीड़….

ओपीनियन, बोले तो मतों का जनतंत्र में और गॉसिप मैग्ज़ीन्स में बड़ा महत्व है। दोनों में फ़र्क क्या है? पहले में आप जिम्मेदारी से भरा एक महत्वपूर्ण चुनाव करते हैं जो विवाह की तरह ही आपके जीवन को प्रभावित करने वाला है तो दूसरे में आपकी मनोग्रंथियाँ उड़ान भरती हैं। फिर किसी ने कहा है कि जनतंत्र मूर्खों की सरकार है ! आप मानें ना मानें पर जहाँ इतने भिन्न-भिन्न मतों वाले मतदाता हों वहाँ मूर्ख बनने में बड़ा मज़ा आता है! इसमें ज़रूर कोई (कई) फायदा(दे) भी है वरना हमारे यहाँ नेता बनने की ऐसी होड़ न होती! और इन्हें बनाने वालों ने किस चीज का इस्तेमाल किया होगा? दिमाग का?…शायद दिमाग के ही किसी हिस्से का..! अमाँ छोड़ो यार! ये दिमाग नाम की शै मेरे पल्ले तो कभी पड़ी नहीं।

हाँ, तो मुद्दे पर आते हैं। बात हो रही थी मतों की, ओपीनियन की, ना कि दिमाग की। फ़र्क है! आपके बेटे का मत है की आपका सहकर्मी सही आदमी नही है, और आपके सहकर्मी की बेटी का मत है कि आपका चरित्र सही नहीं। मेरे पड़ोसी का मत है कि आपकी पत्नी दिखावेबाज है। आपकी माँ का मत है कि आपका मित्र झगड़ालू है। आपका मत है कि मैं गिरी गयी हूँ और मेरा मत हैं कि आप पहले ही से बहुत गिरे हुए हैं, इसमें कुछ भी नया नहीं है ( मैं सामान्य तौर पर अपनी सोच को ऐसी जगह ले जा कर आपको आपके ही बारे में अपनी व्यक्तिगत राय देने से बचती हूँ क्योंकि मेरा मत है कि गिरे हुए लोगों नें हमेशा मुझे मजबूत बनाया है…आभार!) फिर क्या फर्क पड़ता है मैं गिरूँ या आप गिरें! कोई परिवर्तन नहीं होता। अभी कुछ ही दिन पहले मुल्ला जी खड़े-खड़े यूँ ही गिर गए ( बाबू सुखले गिर गइनी…!)। अगर इससे कुछ असर होता है ताे आपको अपना कमज़ोर पक्ष टटोलने की जरूरत है। दुनिया की इस दौड़ में जहाँ एक छोटा बच्चा जिसे चलना भी नहीं आता उसे भी लोग धक्के देते रहते हैं, ऐसे में जीवन का कोई हिस्सा पंगु होना किसी श्राप से कम नहीं। मिसाल के तौर पर आज अगर मैं अपने पति से तलाक लेने का निर्णय लेती हूँ तो इसमें आपका मत क्या स्थान रखता है? इसका निर्णय जीवन के मेरे अपने अनुभवों पर निर्भर करेगा। और फिर कल मैं यह निर्णय बदल दूँ तो? अगर आपका बेटा बारहवीं में आर्ट्स चुनता है तो साइंस को लेकर मेरे महान विचार उसके किस उपयोग के हैं? ये अलग बात है कि मतदाताओं के इस महान तंत्र में जहाँ आपके मतों की कोई जरूरत न हो, आपके मत व्यर्थ हों, मूल्यहीन, अप्रासंगिक हों वहाँ भी लोग मत दे ही डालते हैं। आपके व्यक्तिगत बातों के लिए आपका अपना मत जो कि आपके अपने अनुभवों से निर्देशित हो, बस वही जरूरी है और स्वस्थ जीवन का प्रतीक है। आप अच्छे-बुरे जैसे भी मत रखें इससे किसी के व्यक्तिगत निर्णय प्रभावित होंगे ये अपेक्षा रखना बेमानी है। अगर आप हमेशा दूसरों की जिंदगी के बारे में जानने के लिए मीडिया पर आश्रित रहते हैं तो बहुत संभावना है कि विषय कहीं आपकी जिन्दगी से जुड़ा हुआ है।

किसी दुष्कर्म के विरोध में उठना, शोषण के खिलाफ आवाज उठाना मेरे मत में अनिवार्य है पर शोषित का दमन भी स्वीकार्य नहीं। आप इसे जीवन में अपनाने की जगह इसमें अपने कल्पनाओं के प्रवाह को भी मोड़ दें तो ये एक खूबसूरत सा फ़िक्शन बन जाता है। अब यहाँ मेरा मत तो मेरे पास है पर अगर इन सब में कई और लोगों के मत मिला दें तो ऐसी मिली जुली खिचड़ी से मुझे इनडाईजेशन होने खतरा हमेशा बना रहता है। पर यह तो तय है कि किसी को उसकी राय बनाने से नहीं रोका जा सकता चाहे इसका सम्बन्ध उस व्यक्ति से हो या न हो। इसे व्यक्त करने का स्थान ही ज्यादातर विवाद का विषय बनता है। कुछ “शरीफ” किस्म के लोग – औरों के प्रति – अपना मत “गुप्त” स्थानों में “गुप्त” तरीके से व्यक्त करते हैं तो कुछ बेबाक़ किस्म के लोग मुल्ला नसरुद्दीन की तरह अपनी राय जाहिर करते हैं। कुछ समझदार लोग अपनी राय खुद तक रखते हैं तो कुछ विरले लोग मत नहीं बनाते।

कुल मिला कर मैं समझती हूँ कि अपना मत बनाएँ और नि:संकोच व्यक्त करें। आपके विचार और व्यवहार की तुलना से ही हमें आपके बारे में कुछ पता चलता है और आपको समझने में मदद मिलती है।

मतदाता अधिकार! जिन्दाबाद!


Posted in Gotta tell you!

Everyone’s own world

Ethicality was merely a convenience. When ethics crossed each other, wronged each other, each query they posed had inherent seed of its own destruction. Conclusively, conflicts were illusions. And I am still amazed by the intricacies of human’s ability to feel and absorb which is unique to each of us despite we all follow the same universal procedure to send and receive signals in our minds. The same Mr. Neuron carries out the job. Our unique ability to feel. Not like getting hurt at petty things to target a scapegoat but beneath that. And when it flows out to words, it’s again like everyone else’s​. We have a certain set of words( how many of them we learn, makes it slightly different), body languages, same yes or no, if and but. And then I often stumble on what-ifs. What-if we had words for each feeling! What-if we was able to see each of the all 10 million colours?

Thence, these contradictions give rise to our world. I am surprised how beautifully​ we flow with others stories that they tell themselves, their ideas and reasons. If we could feel them, it would have been​ different. But it’s another miracle or a way of life that the mind always adapts to foreign ideas, views and makes it own even without getting the perspective. The magic of the creator, it’s the beginning of our world, everyone’s own world -where we actually live in. Lately I was frisking a secret door in this.


Posted in Gotta tell you!

A Few “Truths” Of The Virtual World

We can’t escape the fact that now-a-days social media affects everyone’s life. And interestingly you get to know life’s most fascinating truths – “BrahmGyan!” here especially if you have a well set active group where you can share, discuss, argue literally everything​.

Your virtual world experience gets a lot more enjoyable and stress-free when you understand that whatever is written here are just words of someone else and no way a real life experience. Even an abuse is not going to slap you if you don’t choose to. It is not real and you can easily leave it or choose to stick to it. You have all power here but what you read or write is your responsibility and it’s the greatest power if you understand it and put it to use.

Negative aspects of social media: A victim of emotional abuse on social media writes:

“Cutting contact with toxic people will transform your life. At first, it feels miserable. Like you’re going cold turkey from an addiction but as time goes on, you come to discover that each passing day brings unexpected new blessings. You begin to develop self-respect, boundaries, and true friendships. Instead of running around absorbing & forgiving everything, you spend time with people who don’t not behave in a way that requires constant explaining to begin with. This freedom allows your spirit to thrive. Someday, you will look back and wonder how you even tolerated interacting with such unhealthy people. Your new self begins to feel protective of your old self, and that’s a pretty neat place to be!”

How true! No matter how ugly one’s Internet behavior is, ridiculously, the reason of negativity on social media is often emotions or truth. One of the best advice is – STOP EATING EMOTIONAL POISON. Read or stay in contact with those with healthy Internet behavior and who have a good idea of it. No matter how much they are putting/participating in their communities. Read only emotionally healthy stuffs.


Suppose Tulsi Das were alive now. When he left his wife you would read people updating status elaborating family love in countless beautiful ways, and you would find several  people “liking” those stuffs. The same people who never lived Tulsi Daas’s life but generously share stuffs written by him – just a matter of convenience. Be aware of such people who have no idea of personal boundaries while they constantly try to black-mail you emotionally in one way or other or put emotionally hurting stuffs. Be extra-careful of those who constantly take things personally. And NEVER EVER DO CROWD PLEASING.


Similarly, a little concern about what to express and what not to, makes it a better experience. Truth is what exists/happens including numerous things you won’t like to share on social media. It’s a matter of privacy and one’s priorities which has nothing to do with good or bad as people do share their painful or bad experience too. Everything what you are trying to hide is a truth. But that’s not the only truth. Why you want to hide it, why one wants to reveal it, is also a truth. It’s more a responsibility rather than just a truth.

A common trick you often find people playing is – You saw this and you have such thoughts so you understood this. Can you see it has nothing to do with the truth. In my personal experience such people go too far and cross all levels of stupidity to straighten your perspectives and mostly don’t like you responding  in a similar manner. You can choose how to respond to it and are no way bound to have the same perspective others put to it. Neither has it any impact on your way of living. Whenever you feel there’s a need to learn something, you do.

So, your perspective matters more than truth when you express something. Your perspective can be vulgar no matter how good something is  which more or less depends upon your upbringing, your family environments, friends and your life experiences. Hence, leave out the truth (your version of truth i.e assumptions ) you can never take responsibility of any truth, truth will take care of you and everything else but you are responsible of what you express, how you touch other’s lives despite all your individual freedoms. You can always contribute to make your virtual world experience healthy and enjoyable. Express all you wish but in a decent and healthy environment people never disobey personal boundaries. You know nothing about others struggles. Be kind. It doesn’t mean if you ever made a mistake you will be killed or you can’t get away without a punishment. You can put a better perspective any time, choose to behave differently, rectify your misconceptions etc etc.

While being part of a virtual community, it is important to keep your emotional health on check. Take total liberty of how you use it. Strictly cut off all dramas. Avoid responding to negative locutions. Mind you, people don’t land to asylum to spend their vacations or because they forget how to calculate or how to cook but out of any emotional disturbance. Your emotional health is the ultimate necessity. Read everything but avoid unnecessary sentimentality. Stop getting touchy. Avoid those who do. Avoid putting family dramas on net as much as possible and cut off those who do. Surround yourself with people who make your day lighter and not your personality, who respect your choices. Avoid those who make insincere remarks. Check your priorities and do things accordingly, never be bullied. Whether you know a person or not, be wary of unhealthy internet behavior, often people behave very different in virtual world from the real life.

That’s all for today. Hope this helps. Have a great day!