Posted in Gotta tell you!

Growing up – empty or capacious?

“Patronizing people talk down to you. Their goal is to feel superior at your expense, resulting in you feeling belittled and inferior. You need a good game plan to defend against this type of behavior—or else your self-confidence is going to take a big hit.

         This type of passive-aggressive behavior is meant to put you in your place, even though it’s often disguised as reasonable or friendly. Think of it as sugarcoated antagonism.”

Constant trivialization of all what you are and you do falls in the arena of bad behaviour. “Ah, you’re fulfilling your dreams! ” told in condescending tone. “This person is caring and that person is not.” Triangulation goes on. “You need to dance on my tune to be called good.” – Narcissism runs high. “My definition of spirituality defines others, not me!”. My self exploratory abilities tend to go numb!

Patronizing and condescending people keep proliferating. Bad behaviour sucks. Apart from corporate world even common people are becoming more and more aware of its cancerous impact on the society. If you have grown up in such environment most probably you are constantly forced to put up with it along with sarcastic or overly rude behaviour rather than dealing with it, expressing your distaste for it so that they must mind it and pave the way for a healthier society.

The question is when do you grow out of such environment? When do you muster the courage to say NO?


Posted in Gotta tell you!

Idols I carried

Whenever it all gets unglued and you abhore weird facetious and belittling explainations and remarks, listen to the whisper, the urge to recall your nature and and all that is boundless. Freedom from security of all kind. And it takes away all that is unnecessary.  And who you are…the dried up and the thirsty amidst lush springs, burnt in freezing winters, dead yet content in your solitude. It’s you and only you. The idols you clenched to your chest and carried everywhere you went. It is no one else.

It’s funny that when you seek independence, you throw away crutches that come as support. Peace is unattainable without a certain degree of inner independence else there’s no end of complaints. There’s peace when you’re not being perceived as who you are not. But it’s not there till you have total control over how you are being perceived. Which is never yours to have and you become aware of the unworthiness of all. Indeed peace lies in the freedom from being understood. Freedom from the desire to be understood, from being understood the way you want and it’s rewards.


Posted in Perturbations

Stand alone

” It’s unthinkable to me to let the glory of my past interfere with my ability to make a brand-new mistake. “

Be your own hero. And heroes don’t bask in the comfort of crowd-surfing. I have often found my heroes losing the argument and winning the heart. The world could be of gossipers and those who use someone’s name to appear good. Reflected glory and puffery might work in your favour but silence is sincere and prettier.

Heroes are turned inwards and seldom found using the crowd to their benefit. When I look back, my hero was the girl in the school who lifted the weight of an elderly maid when no one else did and the boy who stood up for the helpless amidst tumultuous bystanders’ nebbish.

It takes an unflinchingly grounded soul to be truly compassionate and not seeking approval of others, to help someone when it is a risk. It demands your conviction to stand alone, not to harm or conspire against someone.

Those who fill you with doubts, humiliate and provoke others for the same, question your respectability have somewhere lost their ground. Who are yet to turn inwards and find there something worth their attention.

Caliginosity cannot affront light. The dead are aghast at the sight of upgrowth. Discard those completely who cease your right to make mistakes and allow yourself to fall forward. Bury the past and all that comes with it. There’s so much to learn from the present.

History is always biased, nothing more than the historian’s perspective towards gathered information. Just a handful of events missing out the struggles, the ups and the downs that make a man and the moments when a hero was nothing but a zero or a villain. Because a man can always rise.

Throw away the history that canonizes massacres, suicides and enormity of horror. Padmavati would still be a hero if she had battled like Lakshmibai because it’s not in decisions or in events that make a hero but in the person himself. An epic can be written now.

Let the receding past become the testimony to your growth. A feeble integrity makes you cock of the walk but whom to lead within?

“Clear enough. Be yourself. Don’t try to be something which you are not. You are unique in your own way. Don’t distance yourself from yourself.”



Posted in Gotta tell you!


“Clutter is not just physical stuff. It’s old ideas, toxic relationships, and bad habits. Clutter is anything that doesn’t support your better self.”

Misplaced troubles and minimalism is awesome!


Just a little bit of decluttering and then putting things back to their places.

Picture credit: Google

Posted in Perturbations


दुर्जनः परिहर्तव्यो विद्येया भूषितोपि सन् ।
मणिनालंकृतःसर्पः किमसौ न भयंकरः ॥

दशकों पुरानी स्मृतियों से गुजरते हुए मैं क‌‌ई लोगों के प्रति अपनी स्वाभाविक घृणा नहीं दबा पाती। मेरा भाग्यशाली होना मुझे इतनी खुशी नहीं देता जितना उन विकृत मानवों की उपस्थिति आहत करती है। कैसे अजीब होते हैं वो लोग जो ऐसे अमानुषिक कृत्यों की सजीव उपस्थिति को स्वीकृति और स्थान दे कर भी नैतिकता की दुहाइयां देते फिरते हैं!

शायद बेशर्मी से भरे छद्म और छल को ही नैतिकता कहते हैं…

माफ कीजिए, पर मुझे ‘अपनी’ नैतिकता न सिखाएँ। ‘आपकी नैतिकता’ से कहीं अधिक नैतिक मेरी घृणा है। निस्संदेह आपको इस चादर की बहुत जरूरत है पर अपने कृत्यों की चादर से मुझे न ढँकें। अपनी आत्मा की ऐसी मृत्यु मुझे स्वीकार्य नहीं। मेरी घृणा मेरे पास रहने दें।


चित्र आभार: गूगल

Posted in Perturbations


How I rebuff pernicious whispers of darkest shadows

When eloquent implorations to perpetrate damage to the prey

And their grotesque endeavours find comfort of convenience

The callous and chaotic glances are scheming to suck out peace from life

Let me live aflame when they have taken refuge in their flaws or sophistry

I beg your forgiveness Monsieur and Madame

For the inconvenience caused by my luminosity and scintillation

and for the scorch, blisters and holocaust

But it does char when muck-heaps and flames meet

and darkness is set afire…

Kindly accept my admission to have macabre caliginous souls inflamed

And look for spellbinding dazzling coruscations, sparklers and fireworks

I will bear the brunt of blames for it’s impossible to mask flames

Lastly you will be dust and I will be light again

But for the time being let us live aflame,


disregarding calamities, smoke and blisters.