The raging inferno is theirs
It’s never about you
The raging inferno is theirs
It’s never about you
One of the Deepika Padukone’s Junior cooks, Joy Lobo, commits suicide. He failed to become a true cuckoo as advised by Virus – “ Life is a race. If you don’t run fast, you will be like broken undaa!”.
Deepika has placed a want-ad in the leading newspaper — India Fighting. Right when Deepika is whistling an old tune “ Ehsaan tera hoga mujh par, dil chahta hai wo kehne do…..” two (wo)men candidates from the Swaraaj Chhit-Put Larni Sena enter the room, heavily panting and shrieking out “Oye Deepika! Deepika kahan hai? (Oye Deepika! Where’s Deepika?)”
“Deepikaaaa! Oye Chatur, Deepika Kahan hai?”
One of them is barefoot and seems to have forgotten wearing pants. But anyways, he’s still in old-fashioned boxer shorts.
“Welcome Idiots!” Deepika greets them while still staring at his iPhone. “Madira piyogey? (Would you like to have Madira?) ”
Puzzled, they look at each other then ask him “Arre Deepika kahan hai, Ya?”
“Bataati hun pehley ye dekho. (You’ll know but before that look at this)” Deepika flips over his iPhone.
They look at the selfie in the iPhone.
“ Meri wife ko nahi uske peeche ka Bangla deko, idiots! (Stop staring at my wife. Look at the bungalow behind, idiots!) 3.5 million. Swimming pool- heated. “ Deepika sneers. “Living room- maple wood flooring. My new lamborghini 6496cc. Soooo Fast!” He smacks the iPhone.
“ Abbey, ye sab humey kyun bata raha hai( Why are you telling this to us)!!! We have come here for chopping and cooking!”
“Chal chhod na, Ya. Sala zindgi bhar Hindi seekhta rahega. Koi thikaana nahi kab kya bol de! ( He will keep learning Hindi all his life. You can’t even guess what he is going to say next!)”
“ Kya-kya pakatey ho tumlog? (What do you cook?)”
Both the candidates turn to the female voice coming from behind. An elderly woman of 50-60yrs enters the room.
“……and do you always dress-up like this?” she sounds a bit muddled.
“ No Ma’m. Dono tang phadwa kar apne pairon par khada hua hai. Ye ab pants nahi pehnega. ( No Ma’m. He’s learned to stand up by himself after having both of his legs (of his pants) ripped apart. He won’t wear pants any longer.)”
“We cook everything- Dhokla….”
“Tum Gujarati log itne cute hote ho par tum logon ka khana itna khatarnak kyun hota hai? Dhokla! Fafda! Handva! Thepla! Aisa lagta hai jaise koi missiles hai! ( You Gujarati people are so cute but why are your dishes so dangerous?? Dhokla! Fafda! Handva! Thepla! As if these are missiles! ) ” She interrupts. “ Have you read ‘wings of fire’?”
“ Ye cute nahi hain. Peechle batees saal se inhone nirantar is college mein balatkaar pe balatkaar kiye. ( They are not cute! During past 32 years they have commited rapes one after another. )” Deepika chips in.
“ Chatur, we are going to chop your nose off before we chop anything else ( Deepika’s nose???)!” Candidates have begun to boil with rage and threaten Deepika.
“ I am Deepika. Naam toh suna hoga?” Deepika winks at them with mischief.
Now the candidates are completely at a loss. “Abey tu iske daant todega ya main todun?” ( Are you going to break his teeth or I should do it? )
Respect is not what I need for myself from anyone. That I have plentiful. Even my enemies respect me. It’s the respectful relation which I crave and only find acceptable. Of course, I learned it a hard way. But hey, it doesn’t hurt anymore. It doesn’t even mean that I am going to put mammoth efforts towards it and become a doormat and fall so low that others begin to decide my poop and fart ( I follow the famous Shayar – Chirkin!) I am just going to be who I am and I am so very proud of myself for the person who I am, who I have been and I am bettering myself to become even more me. I have learned despite my blunders.
My definition of “respect” and “relationship” is quite simple and, I am sure, known to all. Respect is not just sugar quoted words, formality and etiquettes. Respect is when you know faults of your son and you cannot brand them with any attribute. You don’t go outside to empty your garbage bin over them. Respect is when you see the friends of your son and you put efforts to keep them coming to you and not brand them this or that just because they are better than your…brothers? When there is a respect, you cannot think about them in another way (It’s the job of a few jealous neighbors) despite knowing all their faults. Respect is not a compulsion to ‘like’ someone’s post on Facebook. I can never go to demand a youngster on Facebook to like my post. It would be too ugly to me.
Respect and relation both are metaphors for love and acceptance. And fortunately, I learned it from the most beautiful relationships I have seen among a few people who called themselves brothers, sisters and friends whatever… They visited each other places and established a permanent family-like bond. They quarreled, found faults in each other, had crazy humor without branding them with such awfully beautiful attributes. They apologized, put extra efforts to mend it and never went to explain it to the world. And there’s another world where people mud-sling on relationship only to keep it in their hands. A relationship is definitely not a dream of a rich and handsome man for whom you put your dancing pic on social site. Well, I have nothing against posting my dancing pics (which I haven’t even posted yet! ) but it has to be my own decision. Thank you very much!
A relationship is not a tag that you carry with yourself. Oftentimes there exists a tag without a relationship. A relation is not what your competitors in your class talk about you. Relationships are never based on fears. They are pretty brave and founded on love and care. When a youngster hurts the feelings of an elder person you care to mend it and vice-versa. A respected person who stakes his reputation for a younger one or has the heart to appear fool for another doesn’t make him any less respected from the one who is busy maintaining an image, never apologizes and struts away, the one who continues to do it. It takes a little pain to be human. Pains of several different kinds. But it is even more painful to die without having those pains. Without learning from them (Sounds like my new status update!).
When I created the account on WordPress I told a few people about creative writing courses and immediately I found so many people following me. These were writers from whom one can learn – how to take up any incident and weave them through stories, articles etc, several different kinds of written material — A LOT! It wasn’t possible for just one or two people to type them. How can I say that goodness has vanished from the world? A respectable relationship doesn’t demand all your time, weeks or months neither it has any perfectness. I think perfectness is an illusion. Everything is not possible for everyone/doesn’t resonate with each person but you can put at least a little effort towards it, make a gesture of support and respect instead of making it muddier. A respectable relationship is like a family. You comfortably share shyaris of Chirkin.
When a relation, ANY relation, is respectable, it’s brave. You can stand up for it because it is about you. Else anyone can talk about integrity. And why it becomes so important to have each relationship full of respect ( regardless of its nature) is that if you keep compromising your truth/who you are for any relationship, at one point, it is devoid of any feelings, it doesn’t exist. Care begins with respect and not with formalities. I am truly grateful for having relationships to people with whom I can evolve as a better person, express myself better and oppose them without hesitation, and I am going to stick their photos on my WhatsApp profile or WordPress blog and elaborate each and every detail about them for the approval of some high-profile thingamajig out of the fear that these people will do something they are good at? And what-if I hide it?
P.S: The post was written sometime back when I was suffering from an emotional trauma and I was having difficulty in expressing myself on social media. Now I have no such grudges against anyone and hardly care about it. I am more at peace and express myself easily without any hesitation.
“When I was young I farted with my brother and after 25 years now we poop together. “
Hilarious! Recently I collected love and spiritual poems, stories articles etc. and liked many of the pages on Facebook to get an idea about the kinds of stuff blog sites are churning out. Total crap!…to me at least. It failed to interest me or be of any use to me. A page on mindfulness is completely mindless and an another page writes –
“You’ve been through guys and girls that continued to shatter your heart, like it was just a tiny piece of glass…”
Humanity suffers! No. Not that but…I couldn’t figure out to whom they are serving by creating the kind of literature. Anyway, creating what you like, speaking and writing your own mind is important which shows the kind of people and society we are. It makes society transparent, things we are involved in and directions towards we are taking the society by contributing to it. And my ideas are not rigid towards it. Having all the people of the same mind hardly makes any sense to me. That’s why I support almost everything put on social media which imparts me more freedom, strengthens my will to write anything and everything I wish. A lot of money is involved in this business and writers have the right knack for picking up the mass mind and manipulating it. It just failed to inspire or interest me and makes it more difficult to choose from reading stuffs crammed onto the social media.
The provocative posts are even funnier. From rural India to the USA, it is common to provoke someone, decide a relation and its direction and then make certain things happen. But even among illiterate people in small villages, this is not the virtue of all neither everyone cares about it. It gives me an idea that places or education don’t serve to decide one’s character/ make much difference to how a person uses his mind.
And despite being active on social media what keeps me sane? I cook every day apart from doing other house chores. It has its benefits. A balance is always needed. Perhaps, I am not a lover of words or maybe of some kind of written stuff. I won’t stick any label to it. I just have my own likings. In this crowd of Krishnas, Radhas, Modis, and Rahuls may be I am looking for something different from poop and fart or beef and goat and that would be authentic me for sure. Let us see. Who knows, someday I write similar stuff. You never know!
धैर्य नष्ट, अपार कष्ट
रात काली, व्यथा वाली
पड़ोस का घर रौशनी से सरोबार
जश्न और ठहाकों में नुक्स हजार!
A feathery brush of Dandelions against your skin
or a hushed pulsation shunning in a quiet corner
sometimes cloaking a secluded reply
a shy smile in a genial demeanor
You can never fathom
the truth they undeniably live.
And if you catch a glimpse of the fulgor
oozing out of the corner of their pure misty eyes
you would witness how tiny droplets of moments
Ripen into the rarest of invaluable
like morning dewdrops
trickling down the blade of grass.
Image Credit: Google