Posted in Gotta tell you!

Mind poses questions…

When we grow up as individual, most of the things of our childhood are left far behind. We have our own family, friends – our own circle. If anyone comes to spit at us or our circle, doesn’t hold space in our life. Those who keep a decent relationship, stay. A relationship is always one-on-one and not based on mass opinion. What you invest into it, matters.

Some families have a history of spitting at relationships. We flaunt our family traditions but never talk much about our family’s nature socially. What does it mean if someone else does that and takes things personally after abusing us?? It’s planned! Pretty obvious. There’s some or other weakness in each family ( something which they always do and no one in the family is concerned about it ) everyone knows, talks about it but family members are unaware and unwilling to change it even when warned. In each family. When we get over it, we grow and strengthen our bonds.

Since childhood, we have friends with whom we study, learn and grow up, despite the ugliness of any rivalry. They are our savior. They stand by us when we need them. They don’t look for a good time to come to support us, they bring it to us. They are ready to take troubles, do anything and even fall from grace. They are the greatest blessings. Friends are connected soul to soul.

To avoid rivalry we may leave our siblings with whomever they want to be but our friends are always our own people no matter what! They raise their eyebrows when anyone spits his “bitching” on us. You make an opinion! That too of this level! And you spit it socially! And then you think you still hold a place in another’s heart? You are more surprised that a family member trots out some weird excuses!…or mugging? Apparently, this level of act is not very common on social media. And it becomes clear that “ See, in the name of a family, where’s the trust, the support, the respect each individual has? You are objectified, have no soul. Dead as stone. ” There’s a calls for making a choice.  That’s what known as the foundation of a relationship – Trust and Respect. See the difference. Because culture is not a mask you put on. And what is the terrorism??

One of the most beautiful things I came to know was – there are societies where friends and siblings are soul mates. No such ugliness or insincerity. No one comes to show on social sites how ugly your opinion is about someone – FAMILY ( I’ve heard of this word! ) A relationship worth keeping. We are greeted with a show of cordiality and warm-heartedness. It’s completely different from those thumkas and bhangra types. They all get up for the one they call their family and despite all the differences I had with them, I respect them – for who they are, who they have been despite what they did to me.

The thumka – bhangra types don’t discuss anything clearly, face to face. Though they easily smear everyone’s friend, relatives, families etc etc on social media. I have always been a little conservative, but never had this level of mentality. Once I fought that digging into the navel of a teenage girl is wrong even when done playfully and she is comfortable with that. It is a physical act and not a written document. To some, it’s pretty ugly! I’ve always been conservative. And if you express your nasty opinions to me, so can I! But thankfully I made the circle with my kind of people and learned that my perception is my own reflection. Just because I saw something wrong, it isn’t always wrong. And I like people with refined percpectives. Whether we spit our opinions on someone or keep it to ourself, it’s mostly about us. But what about family rapes? If you support groping or rapes in a family, are you worthy of being a human?? Not to me. How does it become a personal matter?? A heinous crime. Physical and emotional torture to an innocent soul. It’s not anyone’s way of living or thinking or his lifestyle! Why didn’t you take any action against it then? Why do you want to hide it instead of condemning it?? Do you mean that “the rapes I do is my rape”??…Or “I decide groping in my family” ??? And why did you join social sites then? Well, pretty obvious…to show your officiousness? Smile emoticon! And you expect me to be calm?? F**K with your opinions! And whom do you think you’re fooling by putting/sending idealistic posts here and there then??


You are not willing to clean the garbage in your family or surroundings and want to…. It is understandable to respond to how someone treats you. You may have whatsoever opinions about anyone or anything. It doesn’t make any difference to another person except the relation will be spoilt or come to an end. It’s all up to you if you want it. You are responsible for YOUR behavior and can only respond to that of others. It’s mostly about the family.


In lower societies, apart from crossing personal boundaries beyond limits, erotic and sexually offensive jokes are common. So, it’s quite normal that the word “soul” troubles them. But how does it has anything to do with your way of thinking?? It is about us. That’s who we are. In the virtual world, we are souls. And if you think too much about genders, it is your problem. It was way too ugly and I am no more burdened to think in such indecent ways which must be troubling many. In my community both genders exist. Unashamed of their sexuality. Are you? It is surprising how you make anything of your level. One of the best things I learned is – “No matter what is said, the listener will always take it to his level. And you can do nothing about it.” Good mind, good find. Please, spare me.

So, the level of your thoughts has nothing to do with money or education. Once I saw an “educated” woman grotesquely humiliating an elder family member for not covering her head with the “pallu”always making such things an issue. The same woman who is raising her daughter totally differently  In another case, I saw an “educated” woman telling another woman “Your mom is old, you have four younger sisters yet to be married and you use Facebook!!!”. Just because the girl had a beautiful group of friends who not only belonged to an intellectual class, were active and appreciative of her. And the girl was surprised, how her family issues have to do anything with her Facebook account..! And how being poor prevents her from having an account, discussing, sharing anything..! How rich she needs to be for that?! I doubt such nasty incidents have any connection with morality or culture. It’s too immoral and no way a sign of a cultured society.

The fact is any person can be mean – rich or poor and anyone can kill the relation and certain societies are naturally vulgar. In these societies, it’s very common to hear “ Bihari hain saaley.” Or “ Bhaiyye hain UP waaley,” . Northeast Indians are – “Chinkies” and so on. Ugliness has many layers and many shades. Your opinions shows who YOU are. A million people own the same relationship you have, but they bring their own flavor to it.  When you provoke someone to get up against another person and say that one is wrong, know your limits too. You are suggesting it by putting your own opinion–pure or vulgar, and not entitled to take decisions – as per ethics. And make sure that you can take it too. Relations reflect back.

The pitiful plight makes your brain go mush. The garbage needs to be cleaned but who will do it? Billi ke galey me ghunta bandhey kaun?? You talk about corruption day and night but can you do without it a single day? How would you do, when you cannot bribe anyone to get things easily done in your favour? Indeed, no change will take place, no improvement can be brought till you hide your own garbage and are comfortable with this. So what is your morality…your fakeness?


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A busy mom!