Posted in Gotta tell you!

The fear of virtual world

I hushed my daughter and gave her a stare as she interrupted me. I was chatting with a friend on phone. Well, interruption. ..There wasn’t anything to worry about. But now she is growing up. Her opinions, decisions must be valued and honored. It’s in our family and culture. I see no chance of her going back to her toddler days. Soon, she will be sixteen, seventeen, eighteen and so on, when she must be treated as an adult.

I read many great articles on women empowerment by my fellow bloggers. Very balanced views indeed. This is where this post sprung from. As a matter of fact, any grown up person must be treated as an equal but by that, I don’t mean I can take a younger joking or talk wrongly or any such remark from them or an elder crossing one’s boundary and do a meaner thing to me. It sounds too sloppy. In your friend groups, you can be anything, talk any subject, deal anyway, fight it out, talk it out fair and square or just leave it and rarely worry about. Here you can express without hesitation. But anyways, this is about people with whom you live, spend time and there’s always a certain defined limit. Rarely comes a time when the rule is broken.

But there still are several occasions when each woman has to face troubles whenever she leaves her home. Some may find it extremely backward, but I would say it’s vulgar. I certainly don’t think a woman should always stay home out of fear or take dictations how to face it or take her guards with her wherever she goes. And what if I face it on the net? The virtual world is something where you deal with people whom you might not have met even or met just once or twice several years ago, where most people are not in touch and then even their identity is not clear. Does this world frighten you? The fear of virtual world? Are you thinking to give in all your internet activities? Then you must have lived with the fear that one day the roof may fall down and you must not sleep in a house. A multi-storied building is even scarier. Perhaps, you would decide that 24×7 you must remain alerted if you live in the home. Yes, it’s unthinkable to give up the internet entirely. So, here is a small list of challenges you may encounter while working on the internet and along with that a few of the suggestions:

  1. You can leave, delete or quit any platform, account etc. but it must be your choice and convenience. Think every aspect of it and how you keep it stress-free if you enjoy it. You spend money on it, no one else does this on your behalf and above all, it is yours to use.
  2. Never allow anyone bringing personal dramas to your door or involve you in anything. Talk it out straight or remove them right away if the problem persists else they certainly stir things up. Let them have their fun. Those with a plethora of dramas are rarely co-operative and keep bringing their personal agendas again and again. Try to stay away from inferences or behavior of such person in any situation.

  3. Identity, gender etc is hardly clear on the net and It’s meaningless. How can you decide the gender of people writing with different pen names? And then, it hardly matters if you are not doing anything where identity must strictly be clear. Avoid whenever you feel. Or if troubled remove them anytime. In any community, avoid making personal remarks out of animosity.

  4. Once I saw a person making comments exactly the way one of the friends of mine did, with whom I wasn’t in touch. But I knew it wasn’t she. I think I guessed rightly who it could be to behave in such manner. That’s the reason why all the celebrities have authorized accounts. Hence, people who make mean inferences are generally those who don’t know you/not in touch with you since long and they should never ever matter as they will never regret the stress they cause.

  5. In case if you ever feel troubled never ever go to discuss it with people whom you don’t live with and can’t get a straight reply. It can be anyone known or unknown. There are chances that the person might try to take advantage of it and begin playing politics on you. Take some solid actions whenever you feel, you should. ( Why would any trouble-maker, if any, have all the freedom on the net and not you? You are as free as them.) And then cyber laws are better using than posting on walls. Lodge an FIR whenever you feel you are being harassed. Apart form that inform your readers, audience publicly whichever way possible. Don’t just scare, punish instead. Help those who are stuck in a similar situation and remind them that it’s not your real life. It won’t matter to those who know you personally.

  6. Suggestions should be welcome but after that, a person must not invade your territory. There may be chances that the person himself is a trouble maker. Pay attention to the behavior of the person, take on him strictly if needed and ask straight questions. Anyone can complain or react when troubled but no one should dictate you directly or indirectly how to deal with whom. It’s more than intolerable. Your problem, you decide. Whoever helps deserves appreciation.

  7. Never take part in any kind of dramas or go to comment upon how a person manages his account, how he communicates with his friends, family, and colleagues and begin to draw nasty inferences. It’s not only just too stressful for the person but also extremely vulgar. Those with the mentality to comment upon them sooner or later will begin to target you. I have experienced it. In case you face it, you must take a stand and show that it’s my account and I can be anything. I personally remove such people. Never explain what your right is. Use it.

  8. Not everyone you deal with is your friend or a well-wisher, never let it slip your mind that it is the virtual world and not your real life. Whatever comes, deal with that without hesitation. Be firm, honest with yourself, keep it clear – Those who matter, don’t mind. Those who mind, don’t matter.” 

This’s enough for today. Later, I would try to add more. I have learned all these lessons by my own experiences and mistakes I made. Hope you find it useful. Have a wonderful day ahead! 🙂




A busy mom!