My source of strength

Sometimes, I wonder where I get all the strength from when I feel like giving up? Indeed, I am indebted to my mother for my strong sense of justice and self pride. She didn’t live a long life yet it was much bigger than many around her. Even in my late thirties perhaps, I am not endowed with the amount of inner strength and compassion she exhibited. I remember how she refused those who kept pulling agendas and bringing drama to his or her door out of jealousy and their convenience when I see nuisance creators. She never feared to shine, to be different – to be what she was. She was luminous. 🙂

She did her schooling in a village among boys as the only girl of the school. She still topped them even when she was badly criticized, offended. After all she belonged to a reputed family! LOL. Always respected, surrounded by many out of her sheer talent and knowledge. But behind that was her struggle. You could feel positive vibes around her. She was just a homemaker. I am still not like her. But I must be grateful to her for the sense of justice. A profound sense of purpose and individuality. I certainly inherited it from her. Her spiritual awareness beyond rituals. Her acute sense of underlying politics in a given situation. I guess, we all are aware who were there during your difficult days in past decades, who didn’t give a damn despite being there and who put hurdles in your path. She didn’t care for the closest relations/age. She did perform it even to those who throughout her life only troubled her, took advantage of her. Even they benefited from her. They looked to her for the help and she defended and protected them. She did that even to strangers, a beggar or a person suffering from mental disorder. She was criticized even when she used to donated food to patients suffering from leprosy.  Strange are the ways of world.

Interestingly, all those people who criticized her, followed or praised her later. That too, in her life. Perhaps, whatever happens, happens for some good. There’s always a nature’s plan there. Sometimes years pass by and people remain safe because they had been forgiven. Those who talk about justice, for righteousness. I don’t believe in justice. I do my duty and leave it to this system, the nature. My ultimate faith that finally everything is justified. I always move on, I always rise above it. My time and energy is too precious to waste over petty things. And she will always be my greatest source of strength.


*Picture saved from Google.