A need to define boundaries

These are the few ways we can practice humility:

To speak as little as possible of one’s self.

To mind one’s own business.

Not to want to manage other people’s affairs.

To avoid curiosity.

To accept contradictions and correction cheerfully.

To pass over the mistakes of others.

To accept insults and injuries.

To accept being slighted, forgotten and disliked.

To be kind and gentle even under provocation.

Never to stand on one’s dignity.

To choose always the hardest.

~ Mother Teresa, The Joy in Loving

Dignity is not what you talk about others or even yourself. Dignity is who you are. What you do. How you carry yourself. What and how you talk about others is also a representation of who you are, it is about your dignity.

No matter how sensitive you are about different aspects of personality, another person you interact with may be completely insensitive about it and might start thinking that they can choose people, take decisions, whom, why and how you deal with people– overall live your life. At least the part is visible to them. 😀 Sounds utterly foolish? You can’t teach wisdom to anyone. And in that case the need to establish boundaries becomes mandatory.

Especially in your social circle, it seems of utmost importance to keep those around, who have not lived in an environment where crossing boundaries is normal.

You cannot be allowed to choose what and how other person should do, about his friends, family, career etc. In any case, if you come forward to offer your help and support, care and concern, understand and inspire– that counts. But even that doesn’t mean you can cross boundaries and run over a person.

In both cases, whether you cross your boundry or not, it defines you no matter how the other person reacts — takes trouble or shrugs it off. It always does. In a social circle, I mainly concentrate on my purpose, my improvement which also includes dealing with another person–because it tells much about you.

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2 thoughts on “A need to define boundaries

  1. Establishing and maintaining boundaries are two very different things. Establishing a boundary is defining it and setting it in place. Maintaining a boundary is implementing it; weaving it into your lifestyle and checking it often to ensure that it holds. A boundary is effective only if its maintained.

    As always a well thought out post Smita 🙂

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